I am currently attending my mother’s artist convention/event that is taking place right here in Indy. AFA, or Art For All, was organized by and for the users of ATCs For All.com and began this morning and will end tomorrow afternoon. The purpose of this little event was to get a bunch of artists and friends on the site previously only friends online to meet and do art together “IRL”- in real life. Everything has gone off quite smoothly so far. No major crisises or anything of the kind. There has been “open art” as well as classes, workshops and demonstrations. Everyone seems to be really enjoying themselves here.
Sadly, it seems to me lately that the more creative the crowd I am in is, the less creative I feel. And these women (and a couple of guys) are really artsy folk! And I just feel so tired around all these ladies in their 30’s, 40’s and beyond who seem to have way, way more energy than me. Who’s complaining of being tired? Me. Ah, the irony. But honestly, lately I’ve been very “anti-art”. An excerpt from my latest deviantART journal:
So, I’m not leaving, I’m just drifting further away lately. Unlike most of the awesome people here on dA who “outgrow” the site and move on to more professional sites, I just don’t feel like this is what I’m really doing nowadays. I mean, yeah I draw a CG pic or two every month or so- blegh -but, art is not what I’m focusing on. Screw it. I don’t even want to do it, yo. Next semester, I want to focus heavily on coding and computer work, not creative stuff. New Media is a creative field, yeah, but I’m sick of being creative. At least, I’m sick of drawing creatively. I’m sick of trying to draw creatively. Blegh. It’s not an artblock, it’s just that I’m bored with it all. Bored with anime, bored with manga, bored with comics, etc etc. I still read comics, I still look at work on dA and I still draw from time to time, but it’s hardly the first and foremost in my mind anymore.
It’s pretty pathetic, huh? I think so too, yet I felt the urge to voice it. I’m not being lazy- I’m just bored! Or tired, or both I suppose. Probably both.
It’s not that I’m not creative! I’m just not as outwardly creative as I usually am- i.e. I’m not showing off pretty pictures or posting stories or whatever. I’m being creative introspectively. In fact I’ve felt super-creative lately, it just seems that my imagination doesn’t want to let go of the ideas and let me put them on paper! I likened it to wanting to get katsup out of a bottle and winding up with nothing but the liquidy stuff no matter how hard you squeeze the bottle.
In a fit of boredom- and following the urge to give my new character Pious Kjeldsen a believable background- I decided to learn more about Denmark. And learn some conversational Danish- er, Dansk in the process. A super-useful language, ja? If I get good enough, maybe I’ll travel to Danmark and speak it at people.