This is a short entry touching on one of my favorite topics- resistentialism. Wikipedia defines it as “a jocular theory in which inanimate objects display hostile desires towards human beings”. The term “jocular” meaning as a joke. It is not a real theory, it’s just for fun. Not to be confused with “Existentialism” which is a real theory. No, resistentialism is more of a spoof on that far more complex theory -that I will note here, I care nothing about. I am more interested in how my life- in particular my purchasing decisions regarding electronics- has reflected this theory all too well.
I have several devices and machines that hate me. There’s AcerDemon (Aspire Notebook), DemonDevice( iPod Shuffle), PisaShitou(PS2) and most recently Onigiri-kun( my rice maker). It’s like they’re all out to get me. They rarely ever do things as they are told, even if the function is as simple as ‘shuffle/don’t shuffle’. And in response to my screams and shouts at their incompetence they seem to delight in bewildering me further by doing something worse the second time around; like lying about how much battery is left and then cutting out right in the middle of a song I’ve had stuck in my head. Oh DemonDevice! Why can’t you behave like a good little Apple product? Aren’t you guys supposed to be flawless??But I can’t pick on just DemonDevice because that wouldn’t be fair. The truely evil one is AcerDemon. What follows is his saga:
Acer Aspire 3050 purchased through NewEgg online. It runs perfectly fine at first. Then, it slowly pulls itself apart from the inside out. It’s like it is on drugs or something. The OS started out as WinMedia Center Edition which it slowly and steadily became unable to run. So I switched to WinXP Pro which worked for about 4 months and then slowly started to pull the same thing. It would eat it’s own system files until one day I started it up and it couldn’t find command.com. (Please note that command.com is the first program run after a Windows machine boots. If it’s not there, then nothing is there. At least nothing that you can get to.) So, of course I reinstalled the whole shebang- WinXP Pro and it worked for a bit longer. Until finally the computer just plain stopped working after POST. Hmmn. Seems like a HDD error. Let’s see what’s on the HDD by using a reader. Well, will you look at that? There’s NOTHING on this HDD. It is empty, wiped, kaput, gone, finito- dead. AcerDemon ate his own HDD. Fried it completely. Further inspection of the hardware showed that AcerDemon had in fact melted some of the insulation around the HDD as well. It had in fact overclocked the processor at one point, without any lingering damage. AcerDemon tried to commit harikiri! I was lucky that my roommate at the time had a spare IDE HDD since they evidently don’t make those anymore. So, I decided that this Windows stuff was too much for him and went with Ubuntu Linux to mellow him out. So far, so good. His BIOS is a bit old even for Intrepid Ibex (8.10) and sometimes his hardware doesn’t respond like it should, but things are going OK between us. As long as his battery stays intact, everything should be fine.
Which brings me back to my last post about getting a new notebook- or rather a netbook. When I purchase this little wonder of technology and give it a name, will it too turn on me? I do have electronics that have never troubled me (through any fault of their own). Most notably my desktop NeoDell. NeoDell is so well behaved that unlike my Shuffle and notebook, he is completely devoid of personality. As is my phone, camera, DS-Lite and printer. They are all good, well-functioning machines but they are boring. So perhaps in retrospect having a little something wrong with your device makes it feel less like a machine and more like a partner or pet. Perhaps those imperfections are what helps create a more human feel. Maybe these really are “features” and not “bugs”. And these little mistakes and mishaps they have are just part of their own way of being alive.
Then again, if that is the case, maybe the things really are against us.